A Lover Lost

TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY,
that I would never leave you
I gave you reasons to believe me.

The white knight lover I am
took out the garbage,
washed the dishes,
paid the bills.
All I wanted was to save you from sadness.

You opened for me like a flower.
Loved me as completely as make-believe allowed.

Lover, I saw
behind your vision of me.
You were saved
or damned
depending on my sacrifice.

I stood responsible
for loving you more than life.

You will not believe this now
because I’m gone,
but I did love you more than living,
more than my life
as I knew it at the time.

Lover forgive me.

Your sadness made me whole.
I used you as a target of compassion.
I heard your tragic call, I listened to the litanies
of betrayal, abuse, and abandonment.
I wanted with all my heart to be the one
who took it all away
every ounce,
every day,
to see you beaming.

Your beauty mesmerized me.
Sex with you is not to be framed
in lazy language.
More than a mouthful,
I’m a glutton for innocence belied.

Gazing at you in the aftermath,
I never found it useful to remember my age.

Wet with spray
from the fountain of youth,
I prayed to be your savior.